no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I deserve this hangover.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
