The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
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