The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
