I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
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About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
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Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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