I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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