She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Randomize
