If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
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she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
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Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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