I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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