Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
