If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize