If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
