Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
