i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
They took my balls.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
