Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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