At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
