Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
