i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
