You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
