i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
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he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
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I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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