so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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