any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
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I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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