summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
