you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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