she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
