Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
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