you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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