Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
