It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
