I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The feeling are messing with the penis
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
