I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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