I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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