Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
