I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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