Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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