it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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