you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
