I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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