P.S. I can't hear my feet
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
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All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
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He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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