he puts the penis in happiness.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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