Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He passed out mid-signature
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It's shark week go big or go home
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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