In the future we'll all be gay
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
