He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
