the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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