Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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