Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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