Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i barfeds in our rink
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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