I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize