Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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