found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
