He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So vagazzling was a success
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
