Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
