your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
