I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
this is an emotional support booty call
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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