yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
