I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize