I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
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I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
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I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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