get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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